The most precious commodity in our word today is time
And it's the number one reason that we're all stressed out- because we're trying to fight against it and are losing.
I'll be the first to say that I'm overscheduled, overcommitted, and it's wearing. me. down.
I can get 9 hours of sleep for a week straight and STILL be exhausted- because in order to get those 9 hours something else has to give.
But what's more important? Sleep or a commitment?
The long run vs the present?
I used to pick the present.
Constantly committing to ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING anyone ever asked me to come to or be a part of.
It was fun
it was chaotic
I WAS THE YES GIRL.
And then I had a break.
You can see it documented quite well on some far earlier blogposts (think August-ish)
And then through all those breakdowns and stressing and empty hollowness
I STILL persisted in being strictly scheduled, heavily weighed down with commitments.
Not that they were all serious and hard work- I made lots of plans with friends and spent lots of time building and furthering relationships, planning parties, etcc.
and then I got a concussion.
And the 3 weeks hiatus from my life was what it took to bring me into perspective.
Not stress attacks
Not collapsing from exhaustion
BRAIN DAMAGE.
Call me crazy.....
But I've learned now. I'm like an addict- addicted to overscheduling and overcommitting myself. Thank God my mom has been here for me to tell me no when I want to say yes, to force me to rest when I want to give even though I have nothing less.
Because in committing to something, any arbitrary thing, you're saying yes to devote your WHOLE energy to it, your BEST self. And there's only so much of me, with so much energy, to go around.
By committing to everything, I was truly devoted to nothing.
I sucked as a friend.
I sucked as a sister.
I sucked as a student council member, confidante, mentor, runner, leader, student, etc.- you name it, I STUNK IT UP.
I was a hollow, emotionless, empathy-lacking, self-absorbed shell of a person.
And some days, I still am; but, I'm working on it.
Each and every day I have mandatory commitments that i HAVE to make the time for.
And then
I've learned to start saying no.
That doesn't mean I'm at the point where I don't feel bad about it- but it does mean that those commitments I DO have I can be more free to give myself fully in because I'm not overexhausted from doing a bajillion other things or just stopping by on the way to something else in between having to do this or that.
The more I work at it, the better I get.
Commitments are like the stickers that stick to the Wimmicks: they only stick if you let them- you only HAVE them if you WANT them. If you say no or leave space open, then sure sometimes unexpected opportunities/frustrations/circumstances will occur but for the most part you WON'T HAVE EVERY SECOND of your life accounted for.
The more I work at it, the better for me.
I've started feeling emotion again (not Dexter anymore. YAY!)
I've actually started sleeping soundly and feeling energized WITHOUT coffee...
My family life is improving. I stayed home ALL WEEKEND. Granted, some of that time I was busy with my own school work and resting, but I also just was THERE.
That probably made me sound like a loser....but I don't really care.
There's something powerful in just being HOME, PRESENT in the family life. My mom came and told me how nice it was just to have me around- I could help her out or run an errand or two and engage in our family dinners and just relax.
It's amazing what leaving space in a schedule/on a calendar can do. You get time to be productive, time to be interactive, time to rest, time to just be yourself!
Give it a try.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Friday, November 8, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
c'est degoutant
in cas you were wondering...EmergenC is MUCH better than Airborne +Energy packets
seriously.....
I thought emergenC was bad, but at least it has little fizzies that pop in your mouth!
Airborne is just sickly sweet.
It's not absolutely terrible...it's just kinda awful.
Ah the sick-prevention life.
seriously.....
I thought emergenC was bad, but at least it has little fizzies that pop in your mouth!
Airborne is just sickly sweet.
It's not absolutely terrible...it's just kinda awful.
Ah the sick-prevention life.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
BE. BOLD.
"Therefore do not throw away your boldness, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised"
~Hebrews 10:35-36
~Hebrews 10:35-36
Friday, November 1, 2013
it's coming
inching closer every day
stress, fear, chaos, nothingness in its wake
is the end of my life as I know it.
Cross country is almost over.
The air has grown cool and crisp,
with gentle breezes that chill and thrill
and soft sunshine that warms and delights and invites
people to laugh and be giddy.
Runners lace up their shoes, switch their shorts for tights
and grab their most awesome beanies and arm warmers
in preparation for some throat burning leg turning.
It's championship season.
I absolutely love this part of the year.
But right now, today, this year, I hate it.
All my life- well for half of it, actually.
I've been a runner.
I've run cross country, track, adventure races, 5ks, fun runs, trail runs, you name it, I've run it.
I eat, sleep, breathe, and think running. ALL THE TIME.
Even when I don't want it to affect something, it does, because as runner is who I've become.
Doing something for 9 years creates more than muscle memory- it creates a lifestyle,
a thought process
a sisterhood.
All of that is about to end for me.
18 days from today will be the last time I step up to run a cross country race as a member of a team.
The last time I push my body into exhaustion and oxygen deficit for my school.
What's going to happen when I'm done?
I'll take a WHOLE LOT more naps:)
And won't have to pee after every single class
and my calves will fit into boots
and my jeans will fit both my thighs AND waist AT THE SAME TIME (okay probably not..that's just wishful thinking)
But, what will I tell people I do? Cross country is my go-to thing.
I AM a cross country runner .
But will I always be one? Or will I have to say I WAS a cross country runner?
It feels like just yesterday I stepped foot onto the local soccer fields but headed to the side not the middle of the field for my first cross country practice.
I can remember to this day the first thing I said to my mom after that day of practice "I have never sweat so much in my life or hurt so badly. It was terrible... Can I go back tomorrow?"
And I've been going back ever since.
But pretty soon I'll have nothing to go back to-
only something to look back on.
WHO WILL I BE?!?!
I can think about that when the time comes.
I'm not going to worry about it anymore than the thoughts I just put down
Because I'm a cross country runner- not a has been, not a once was, yet.
I will be.
18 days
So I've gotta make the most of them.
stress, fear, chaos, nothingness in its wake
is the end of my life as I know it.
Cross country is almost over.
The air has grown cool and crisp,
with gentle breezes that chill and thrill
and soft sunshine that warms and delights and invites
people to laugh and be giddy.
Runners lace up their shoes, switch their shorts for tights
and grab their most awesome beanies and arm warmers
in preparation for some throat burning leg turning.
It's championship season.
I absolutely love this part of the year.
But right now, today, this year, I hate it.
All my life- well for half of it, actually.
I've been a runner.
I've run cross country, track, adventure races, 5ks, fun runs, trail runs, you name it, I've run it.
I eat, sleep, breathe, and think running. ALL THE TIME.
Even when I don't want it to affect something, it does, because as runner is who I've become.
Doing something for 9 years creates more than muscle memory- it creates a lifestyle,
a thought process
a sisterhood.
All of that is about to end for me.
18 days from today will be the last time I step up to run a cross country race as a member of a team.
The last time I push my body into exhaustion and oxygen deficit for my school.
What's going to happen when I'm done?
I'll take a WHOLE LOT more naps:)
And won't have to pee after every single class
and my calves will fit into boots
and my jeans will fit both my thighs AND waist AT THE SAME TIME (okay probably not..that's just wishful thinking)
But, what will I tell people I do? Cross country is my go-to thing.
I AM a cross country runner .
But will I always be one? Or will I have to say I WAS a cross country runner?
It feels like just yesterday I stepped foot onto the local soccer fields but headed to the side not the middle of the field for my first cross country practice.
I can remember to this day the first thing I said to my mom after that day of practice "I have never sweat so much in my life or hurt so badly. It was terrible... Can I go back tomorrow?"
And I've been going back ever since.
But pretty soon I'll have nothing to go back to-
only something to look back on.
WHO WILL I BE?!?!
I can think about that when the time comes.
I'm not going to worry about it anymore than the thoughts I just put down
Because I'm a cross country runner- not a has been, not a once was, yet.
I will be.
18 days
So I've gotta make the most of them.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
it's insane
I have so many things running through my head
so many thoughts- my brain feels like it's fri'ed
Delian vs the Peloponnese
was a war done because no one wanted domination by just one city
it was all the fault of ole' Pericles
who worked to increase involvement in democracy
a stipend you could have
if a seat in the assembly you'd grab
as you marveled at the Parthenon
(though ya can't see much now since it's all gone)
and thought of Athena's war-like stare
warning Persians to beware
-thanks to Phidias' carving
(both she and Zeus at Olympia left people marveling)
Before the war
was the golden age
where sculptors, writers, and many a sage
put Athens at the apex of the world's intellectual stage;
Socrates questioned- but he also corrupted,
Plato idealized but democracy he distrusted,
Aristotle investigated with a thirst never satiated
and tutored the greatest, most delusional ruler of all.
Euripides wrote of man's many a flaw-
yet to Aeshylus it was the will of the gods who caused men to fall.
Aophocles had Oedipus and Antigone and the like
whereas Aristophanes showed us The Birds' sad plight.
Herodotus wrote his "Histories"
though thanks to exaggeration, accurate it may not be.
Thuycidides came behind
with a more scientific mind
to remember the speeches of Pericles
and the war of the Delians vs. the Peloponnese.
Myron loved human form
and through his discus thrower showed us what should be the norm
and then last was hippocrates
who found natural, not divine origins of disease.
Such were the thinkers, the writers, the sages
who, in a few years in athens, created works that have lasted the ages.
Philip of Macedonia
had a heart made of stone -yuh.
With masterful strategy
he brought union to all of Greece
but fell to his first wife's blow
(we're nearly positive, but will never quite know).
Alex the great was the awesomest ruler who lived
his mom was really violent- just wanted everything for her kid
he lived in delusions that his daddy was Zeus
and when it came to war he never allowed a truce.
Pharaoh of Egypt, King of Babylon, Persia, and Greece
the Gordian knot he cut through
but at Darius' end he cried (boohoo)
as only a king can kill a king
and D's assistants had done the thing.
He may have been crazy
and that you can well-see
when he'd charge to cause a fright
before other armies (like the Persians at the Granicus) could build up might.
A philosopher, too,
was this man everyone knew.
Intellect he craved
to be learned, taught, shared, and saved.
His library and lighthouse were marvels of form
and Macedionian dress he ditched and chose Persian as the norm.
He did love his alcohol
though it may have been his one downfall
causing first destruction of Persep.
and later maybe his death.
After Greece came Rome
and Romulus with his heart of stone
who in 753
brought on the building of the 7-hill city
Latins met their end
at the hands of the Etruscans
who brought forth a monarchy
that was short lived, as you can see
when after 509
Republic became the government of the time.
And slowly but surely this nation did grow
into an empire all the world would come to know.
They built The Forum and Agora,
took on the Greek style amphora,
and many other aspects of Greek life they did, too
gods, art, sculptures, and architecture (the Greeks just seemed to know what to do)
and that's all ifeel like writing
cause my teacher looks like she's going to be smiting
me any minute
if I don't stop typing and get with it.
so many thoughts- my brain feels like it's fri'ed
Delian vs the Peloponnese
was a war done because no one wanted domination by just one city
it was all the fault of ole' Pericles
who worked to increase involvement in democracy
a stipend you could have
if a seat in the assembly you'd grab
as you marveled at the Parthenon
(though ya can't see much now since it's all gone)
and thought of Athena's war-like stare
warning Persians to beware
-thanks to Phidias' carving
(both she and Zeus at Olympia left people marveling)
Before the war
was the golden age
where sculptors, writers, and many a sage
put Athens at the apex of the world's intellectual stage;
Socrates questioned- but he also corrupted,
Plato idealized but democracy he distrusted,
Aristotle investigated with a thirst never satiated
and tutored the greatest, most delusional ruler of all.
Euripides wrote of man's many a flaw-
yet to Aeshylus it was the will of the gods who caused men to fall.
Aophocles had Oedipus and Antigone and the like
whereas Aristophanes showed us The Birds' sad plight.
Herodotus wrote his "Histories"
though thanks to exaggeration, accurate it may not be.
Thuycidides came behind
with a more scientific mind
to remember the speeches of Pericles
and the war of the Delians vs. the Peloponnese.
Myron loved human form
and through his discus thrower showed us what should be the norm
and then last was hippocrates
who found natural, not divine origins of disease.
Such were the thinkers, the writers, the sages
who, in a few years in athens, created works that have lasted the ages.
Philip of Macedonia
had a heart made of stone -yuh.
With masterful strategy
he brought union to all of Greece
but fell to his first wife's blow
(we're nearly positive, but will never quite know).
Alex the great was the awesomest ruler who lived
his mom was really violent- just wanted everything for her kid
he lived in delusions that his daddy was Zeus
and when it came to war he never allowed a truce.
Pharaoh of Egypt, King of Babylon, Persia, and Greece
the Gordian knot he cut through
but at Darius' end he cried (boohoo)
as only a king can kill a king
and D's assistants had done the thing.
He may have been crazy
and that you can well-see
when he'd charge to cause a fright
before other armies (like the Persians at the Granicus) could build up might.
A philosopher, too,
was this man everyone knew.
Intellect he craved
to be learned, taught, shared, and saved.
His library and lighthouse were marvels of form
and Macedionian dress he ditched and chose Persian as the norm.
He did love his alcohol
though it may have been his one downfall
causing first destruction of Persep.
and later maybe his death.
After Greece came Rome
and Romulus with his heart of stone
who in 753
brought on the building of the 7-hill city
Latins met their end
at the hands of the Etruscans
who brought forth a monarchy
that was short lived, as you can see
when after 509
Republic became the government of the time.
And slowly but surely this nation did grow
into an empire all the world would come to know.
They built The Forum and Agora,
took on the Greek style amphora,
and many other aspects of Greek life they did, too
gods, art, sculptures, and architecture (the Greeks just seemed to know what to do)
and that's all ifeel like writing
cause my teacher looks like she's going to be smiting
me any minute
if I don't stop typing and get with it.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
PROOF.
Well if this isn't proof enough that I'm actually crazy then I dunno what is.....I know there's been a lot of talk about venting and i must seem like a hypocritical, irrational person. I swear I'm not. at least not all the time.
I was gonna vent a few days ago and again today
but lately I've realized how blessed I am.
It's a lot happier to think about than all the things I want o vent about (much less overwhelming, too)
I think we forget sometimes to just stop and smell the roses because we get too caught up in all the thorns.
But if you think about it, the rose is much brighter and makes the thorn hurt a whole lot less because you can get caught up in the beauty and the good smell.
And what's so bad about that? I wouldn't be complaining (till I found all the scratches later:) even then, they wouldn't seem half so bad- actually they'd seem pretty damn hardcore and awesome.)
What's responsible for this massive mood-shift?
a choice.
I made a choice to let go of all my frustrations and venting and self-absorbedness when I feel it creeping into my mind
Because that, son, is from the devil
and I don't want him controlling any part of my mind.
it's crazy how powerful the mind is in controlling your emotions, actions, etcc
I know that's probably a bit of a redundant statement because the ole thinker does completely control every process
but by mind I mean mental attitude- mental predisposition- at the moment of your actions/thoughts/processes/etc
2 examples:
1. In my cross country meet Saturday, I completely mentally defeated myself. And it was so absolutely selfish of me because my team needs me- they need the confidence in me, to believe in me, to have that security that I won't drop out in our upcoming championship races and that I'll run to my full potential, which is as the number 2 runner on the team. But what did I do? I let my mind talk myself out of race zone and talk myself out of my pacing- I literally talked my body into shutting down. I KNOW I'm stronger than that- but I didn't run like it on saturday. All because I let my mind defeat my body- I let my doubts, my insecurities, my frustrations, my negativity- beat me down and win.
2. Yesterday in Pickleball. For starters, may I just say that I am not exactly the most gifted in hand-eye coordination. And in anything but running I admit I just get spastic. It's a problem- but funny (at least to people watching). But so anyway, yesterday I'd been playing poorly and being competitive, I was getting seriously frustrated and basically wanted to give up on myself. Instead, I thought for a half second maybe I should just focus on trying to play better instead of getting frustrated- and it worked! literally the dark cloud that was covering my mind with frustration and annoyance at the world just vanished and I started not only playing better (marginally) but I was a lot happier about it- and that carried over into my long run and into my evening with my family.
Basically, each day we have a choice. We can choose to drown in our sorrows and frustrations and despair or we can choose to rejoice in the good things going on or at least try to find them and remove ourselves from our ruts. Because we're mental beings and a little mind power goes a long way.
I was gonna vent a few days ago and again today
but lately I've realized how blessed I am.
It's a lot happier to think about than all the things I want o vent about (much less overwhelming, too)
I think we forget sometimes to just stop and smell the roses because we get too caught up in all the thorns.
But if you think about it, the rose is much brighter and makes the thorn hurt a whole lot less because you can get caught up in the beauty and the good smell.
And what's so bad about that? I wouldn't be complaining (till I found all the scratches later:) even then, they wouldn't seem half so bad- actually they'd seem pretty damn hardcore and awesome.)
What's responsible for this massive mood-shift?
a choice.
I made a choice to let go of all my frustrations and venting and self-absorbedness when I feel it creeping into my mind
Because that, son, is from the devil
and I don't want him controlling any part of my mind.
it's crazy how powerful the mind is in controlling your emotions, actions, etcc
I know that's probably a bit of a redundant statement because the ole thinker does completely control every process
but by mind I mean mental attitude- mental predisposition- at the moment of your actions/thoughts/processes/etc
2 examples:
1. In my cross country meet Saturday, I completely mentally defeated myself. And it was so absolutely selfish of me because my team needs me- they need the confidence in me, to believe in me, to have that security that I won't drop out in our upcoming championship races and that I'll run to my full potential, which is as the number 2 runner on the team. But what did I do? I let my mind talk myself out of race zone and talk myself out of my pacing- I literally talked my body into shutting down. I KNOW I'm stronger than that- but I didn't run like it on saturday. All because I let my mind defeat my body- I let my doubts, my insecurities, my frustrations, my negativity- beat me down and win.
2. Yesterday in Pickleball. For starters, may I just say that I am not exactly the most gifted in hand-eye coordination. And in anything but running I admit I just get spastic. It's a problem- but funny (at least to people watching). But so anyway, yesterday I'd been playing poorly and being competitive, I was getting seriously frustrated and basically wanted to give up on myself. Instead, I thought for a half second maybe I should just focus on trying to play better instead of getting frustrated- and it worked! literally the dark cloud that was covering my mind with frustration and annoyance at the world just vanished and I started not only playing better (marginally) but I was a lot happier about it- and that carried over into my long run and into my evening with my family.
Basically, each day we have a choice. We can choose to drown in our sorrows and frustrations and despair or we can choose to rejoice in the good things going on or at least try to find them and remove ourselves from our ruts. Because we're mental beings and a little mind power goes a long way.
Friday, October 25, 2013
really
i really need a background image...
been perusing through my blog
it's so boring.
like what was i thinking going all "white + gray"
ew.
no wonder no one reads my posts..
been perusing through my blog
it's so boring.
like what was i thinking going all "white + gray"
ew.
no wonder no one reads my posts..
hakuna matata.
today is a great day.
the sun is shining
birds are chirping
the air is dry and cold
and it's one of those days where literally everything looks beautiful
amidst all the venting I need to do (just to free up some space in el mindo)
I thought of a bumper sticker I saw from George's burgers (GET IN MAH BELLAY!)
...they have 1 of the top 10 burgers in BR
I'm making a list, no lie
I have yet to try burgersmith, fat cow, and a couple others
but I know George's is gonna stay up there...it's that good.
...I digress, anyway, the bumper sticker said
"Business is Good, Life is Great, People are wonderful"
but I modified that.
oh HAPPY DAY
SO IN CASE you're wondering
this is venting week.
the post that i just posted earlier this morning was actually from 2 days ago
so I'll have another vent to recap yesterday
and then ya know I get a vent today also
so it's just a good week for me all around
letting loose
letting go
breaking open
holding nothing back
finally releasing everything that has been building up inside
i apologize if you dislike reading about this...i PROMISE there WILL be happy posts somewhere in the mix... today's just a bloggin day.
I just can't focus on school....so, naturally, BLOGTIME. and polyvore (my guilty pleasure). and stumble. and ONLINE SHOPPING!!
OH HOW I'VE MISSED IT!!!
with so many college applications (search how many times i've dropped those despicable 6 syllables lately...too many) I just haven't had time for some good ole fashioned online sloothing
my closet has the clothes but lately my outfits have been quite subpar because i'm so out of touch
#firstworldproblems
At least my biggest little worry right now (as asked on the UNC application)
is whether my avocado will be brown or green
or
whether my latest outfits will be trendy and tasteful
oh the struggle.
this is venting week.
the post that i just posted earlier this morning was actually from 2 days ago
so I'll have another vent to recap yesterday
and then ya know I get a vent today also
so it's just a good week for me all around
letting loose
letting go
breaking open
holding nothing back
finally releasing everything that has been building up inside
i apologize if you dislike reading about this...i PROMISE there WILL be happy posts somewhere in the mix... today's just a bloggin day.
I just can't focus on school....so, naturally, BLOGTIME. and polyvore (my guilty pleasure). and stumble. and ONLINE SHOPPING!!
OH HOW I'VE MISSED IT!!!
with so many college applications (search how many times i've dropped those despicable 6 syllables lately...too many) I just haven't had time for some good ole fashioned online sloothing
my closet has the clothes but lately my outfits have been quite subpar because i'm so out of touch
#firstworldproblems
At least my biggest little worry right now (as asked on the UNC application)
is whether my avocado will be brown or green
or
whether my latest outfits will be trendy and tasteful
oh the struggle.
A Fine Frenzy
Lately life's been more of a frantic frenzy than a fine one...
Why is it that all classes get hard, major tests come up, commitments get busier, and deadlines pop up ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?!
and then, naturally, I get sick.
Maybe, as my mom says (AND THE STUDENT RECEPTIONIST AT SCHOOL AGREED) I'm just "running ragged."
Never heard that expression before in my life, but ya learn something new everyday so....
But, honestly,
IF I HAVE 1 MORE THING TO DO I'M GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST.
Seriously there's no moment for rest!
I've got college applications due, cross country is stepping up in intensity, science fair's last data push is this weekend and next weekend, giant essays for my AP class and a huge test in that coming up, physics is starting to get complicated....YAY.
Seriously you'd think that by senior year teachers would just be all like "we'll make school easy so our darlings can do their college applications and fill out scholarship things and excel in their sports to for once have an easy school year"
ahhh that would be the life.
but c'est la vie, such is NOT the case.
so to combat everyone in my life's wishes to kill me with assignments and deadlines
*cough cough*
I've just started skipping things and taking naps.
I highly advise it.
People are always telling me I need to cut back, so....I am! and NAPS are a wonderful way for doing that.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling well in PE- so I took a nap
And then today I don't have cross country- so i'm gonna be really social and... take a nap.
Next time you have something important to do, skip it! TAKE A NAP.
Why is it that all classes get hard, major tests come up, commitments get busier, and deadlines pop up ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!?!
and then, naturally, I get sick.
Maybe, as my mom says (AND THE STUDENT RECEPTIONIST AT SCHOOL AGREED) I'm just "running ragged."
Never heard that expression before in my life, but ya learn something new everyday so....
But, honestly,
IF I HAVE 1 MORE THING TO DO I'M GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST.
Seriously there's no moment for rest!
I've got college applications due, cross country is stepping up in intensity, science fair's last data push is this weekend and next weekend, giant essays for my AP class and a huge test in that coming up, physics is starting to get complicated....YAY.
Seriously you'd think that by senior year teachers would just be all like "we'll make school easy so our darlings can do their college applications and fill out scholarship things and excel in their sports to for once have an easy school year"
ahhh that would be the life.
but c'est la vie, such is NOT the case.
so to combat everyone in my life's wishes to kill me with assignments and deadlines
*cough cough*
I've just started skipping things and taking naps.
I highly advise it.
People are always telling me I need to cut back, so....I am! and NAPS are a wonderful way for doing that.
Yesterday I wasn't feeling well in PE- so I took a nap
And then today I don't have cross country- so i'm gonna be really social and... take a nap.
Next time you have something important to do, skip it! TAKE A NAP.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
kahdalea. a poem
There is a place
where the mountains meet the sky;
It is nestled in the
Blue Ridges where hawks and eagles fly.
The highways are
dotted with wildflowers
And the roads are
narrow and winding,
And it is this patch
of heaven
That I find so
spellbinding.
It is here among the
rustic cabins where in the afternoon we rest
That I feel most at
home- where I'm truly at my best.
Something about the
mountain air
Awakens all around-
Awakens those hidden
quirks
That are sometimes
buried in the ground.
Each June upon
arriving, a gaggle of girls awaits-
Shedding tears of
joy and megawatt smiles as our bus passes beneath the gates.
The friendships
there grow deeper
As the summer comes
to pass-
As adventures in
those mountains
Create memories that
will forever last.
There is a joy about
the grounds
Echoed by laughter
and folly's piercing sounds.
The challenges are
many-
Not for the faint of
heart,
Not allowing you to
feel lonely,
But distracting should you start.
I now feel at peace
beneath the stars shimmering in the night,
When I’m lying in a
hammock, bathed in moonlight
Because out in the
trails of Pisgah’s woods,
We adventure in
packs.
We adventure and
discover beyond our limits
And indulge in our
love of trailside snacks.
The trails offer a
constant lesson- there's always something new to explore.
More of a teacher
than textbooks is nature's ever-open door.
Relying on our
creativity and resourcefulness
Has taught us
lessons in finesse
Has taught us how to
trust our instincts
And brave whatever
obstacles put us through challenging tests.
From rock climbing
on the cliff faces and resting in their shadow
We return after days
and nights to the beautiful valley down below.
Exhausted,
dirty, starving: we return from our
trips
Laden with stories-
Laden at times with
cuts and bruises-
From our adventures
amidst God's glories.
Morning, noon, and
night- many a time the forest rings
Deep with vocal and
guitar-strummed harmony as the whole camp sings.
Banging on
dining-hall tables or sitting round the fire, we raise
Songs sometimes sad
and pretty
Songs sometimes wild
and witty
Across the mountains
-almost to the city.
Ever since that
fateful summer when I was a girl of twelve,
I've been forever
changed- encouraged to rejoice in myself.
"Just let Him
mess with you," Mrs. Anne has been known to say
Encouraging us to
live for others each and every day.
Encouraging us to
live by example-
Leading others to
happy confidence along the way.
When the hydrangeas
bloom in early June
And the clear
cacaphony of crickets sings in joyful tune,
Round the lake I
roam
Round, worn path
where in my comfort I've grown,
I know this place
will forever be my mountainous home.
this week
T.G.I.F.
I have never been so happy for a Friday, ever.
**correction, I've never been so happy ON a Friday, ever.
that's saying a lot...I'm happy every day.
But this week reeeeaaaallly tried to take it out of me.
Took 2 naps a day and had go to bed early every day this week
Hardest week of my life.
Got a concussion and my head glued back together
(don't crowd people into hammocks, kids- they break.)
Sunday night
and ever since then I've had a splitting headache
no energy
awful mood swings
constant dizziness
and general BLAH.
Okay I know that doesn't sound awful but honestly I had to sleep so much
just so I could have SOME fraction of energy to deal with family and try to do school.
it was surreal...
Never been so low on energy in my life
I COULDN'T EVEN DO MY NIGHTLY STRETCHES AND CORE!
I was too miserable-feeling to be upset about not making homecoming court
which was really disappointing thinking about it now
BUT:
IT'S A NEW DAWN
IT'S A NEW DAY
IT'S A NEW LIFEEEEE
and i'm feeeeeeeeeelin goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.
I'm back bitchez.
Monday, September 23, 2013
happy accidents
This weekend brought quite the adventure..
Saturday night I was at dinner with my friend Sherm and she and I were just digging into some DELICIOUS salmon and snowcrab dish when we got an unexpected phone call.
Our friend, Frances, had been on her way home (2 hrs away) from a volleyball tournament when, after an already chaotic night, their van got a flat on an overpass not 10 minutes away from the restaurant sherm and I were at.
Fran, Sherm and I are best friends but because she lives so far away, Sherm and I don't get to see Fran too often so when she called us asking for help, we jumped out of our seats (literally) and drove to save her from the side of the interstate.
The rest of the night was calm in comparison- Fran and one of her teammates spent the night with us and we had a mahvelous time just catching up and staying up late just chilling and enjoying eachother.
It's amazing how what seems like an awful evening (for Fran, at least) can turn into a cherished memory between friends. I am so thankful for their team getting a flat- it provided us with a fun, love-filled evening and unexpected catch-up sesh that only being with your best friends can give.
Saturday night I was at dinner with my friend Sherm and she and I were just digging into some DELICIOUS salmon and snowcrab dish when we got an unexpected phone call.
Our friend, Frances, had been on her way home (2 hrs away) from a volleyball tournament when, after an already chaotic night, their van got a flat on an overpass not 10 minutes away from the restaurant sherm and I were at.
Fran, Sherm and I are best friends but because she lives so far away, Sherm and I don't get to see Fran too often so when she called us asking for help, we jumped out of our seats (literally) and drove to save her from the side of the interstate.
The rest of the night was calm in comparison- Fran and one of her teammates spent the night with us and we had a mahvelous time just catching up and staying up late just chilling and enjoying eachother.
It's amazing how what seems like an awful evening (for Fran, at least) can turn into a cherished memory between friends. I am so thankful for their team getting a flat- it provided us with a fun, love-filled evening and unexpected catch-up sesh that only being with your best friends can give.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
I'm not that girl.
I fart.
Incredibly disgusting, I know, and far too
much information for a good first impression, but I just thought someone should
know the truth about me for once. For some reason I’m one of those people
labeled “perfect” or as someone who "has it all together all the time."
First of all, have they taken a look at my hair in the morning? Medusa's looks better.
Honestly if they took a look at my hair any time of day... I'm surprised I don't scare people with my accidental girl-from-The-Ring impression at times.
Secondly, get this: someone once told me that I was intimidating- I’m 5’2.
I would just like to say, I’m not that girl.
You know what I am, though?
I'm a try hard.
I try hard in everything that I do. You won't catch me slacking off or giving up just because I can. Sure, that might seem annoying at times to other people, but ya know what? Doing well makes me happy.
I enjoy working hard and giving my best effort- putting my best foot forward, as they say.
I enjoy trying hard to get to school RIGHT on time (not gonna get there early or anything...I will take as much sleep as I can get, thank you.) but when that bell rings, I'm there.
I enjoy taking my own notes and making nice outlines and doing even small projects well not because I'm OCD or super structural (literally a 2% structural person in any personality analysis deal) but because I don't wanna put my name on something that doesn't represent my best work. And doing shitty notes=shitty grades. No thanks!
I enjoy pushing myself to my physical limit when I run- have you ever crawled across a finish line because you ran your body past its point of exhaustion? I have. Yeah, I'm a little crazy, but what can I say? I try. Hard.
I'm a nerd.
I genuinely enjoy learning things and studying and finding new connections between lessons. I enjoy analyzing passages and writing my thoughts down when I feel inspired to do so because it gives me energy to do so.
I'm weird.
I think in poetry. P-O-E-T-R-Y. Some people walk up to a test and are thinking "oh shit I shoulda studdied harder" whereas I think more in free verse and stanzas about the impending doom I'm facing with an analogy of sorts to a caged bird upon a pedestal of lies. Kidding...dunno where I was going with that one there. Never thought about that analogy until now. Really do think in poems though. I just don't wanna publish any of them because they're fine just sitting in my head for now.
I'm unashamed.
School spirit day? I'll be dressed up. Pep rally? I'll be screaming. Need a volunteer? PICK ME PLEASE! I have no problem getting up in ridiculous clothes and making a fool out of myself to keep people entertained. It just makes me happy to make you happy.
I'm not perfect- but I wouldn't want to be. If I tried then I'd probably worry about chipping my freshly - oh there goes my perfect manicure. I'm not at all who everyone seems to think- much more than meets the eye or first impression. You don't have to look hard to find the chips in my teeth and tangles in my hair, but that's okay with me. I have nothing to hide.
Monday, September 16, 2013
What is failure?
I was asked to write an essay describing a failure that I've experienced and what I've learned from that, and it got me thinking.
I could come up with PAGES and PAGES of things I've tried to do and not succeeded in- but does that really mean I FAILED?
I mean, looking back at my geometry grades from sophomore year and a couple of 31%'s (I was kinda proud/mortified of how low of a score that was..new record!) you might say "Yes, you idiot, you failed that- see the grade?"
But what is failure?
I may have received an F grade- but I didn't fail in learning something from that bad mark.
So I don't consider that a failure.
Then again, talk to my eye doctor- I can't see the definition of leaves or facial features without my glasses on and he would tell you my eyes have failed to pass many eye exams.
But I didn't fail- my eyes did.
Do we really need eyes anyway? Hellen Keller certainly didn't.
And in fact, many would say that physical blindness (I'm not really blind.. just go with the train of thought) leads to greater sight- insight, that is, and heightened awareness of the world we're in.
So that's not a failure.
Dree 2, Failure 0.
Example 3: Student Council
I've run for exec board positions, class president, etcc and in the last 2 years, out of the 4 positions I ran for (on top of class rep): Junior Class prez, Student council treasurer, senior class prez, Student Body Prez- I didn't get a single one.
FAIL? not a chance.
Because although my efforts didn't grant me my desired result, each of those speed-bumps has taught me something or gone on later to show me a reason why it's a great thing- a success even- that I didn't win those elections. Yes, I come away from each lost election with a bit of a bruised ego and a few tears, but in hindsight I always am able to smile and appreciate God's hand in those losses. (Notice: I say losses, not failures)
Student Body prez, for example.
1.) I ran against the girl I'd beat for 1 exec board position sophomore year but lost to junior year for treasurer. She and I are friends, granted we're always competing with eachother, but still friends and honestly, she has shown a greater capacity for that kind of leadership. She just simply has more time to devote to the positions. I've been getting stressed and anxious about all these college applications, essays, school work, cross country season, family life, etc and if I'd had the added responsibilities of Student Body Prez I probably would have had a mental break down for REALZzZ about the 2nd day of school.
Made it almost 5 weeks now and no breakdown in sight! SUCCESS!
2.) She has a bit of a speech impediment- when she gets nervous, she stutters, and she gets nervous any time she's speaking to a large group, which means that over the announcements twice a day, she stutters. But it's been improving as our school year goes on. Her winning that election has enabled her to work toward conquering her obstacle- and I thank God each day that I didn't win so that she has the chance to do that.
THAT is not a failure at all.
Dree 3, Failure ZIP
Let's look at my cross country highschool record....
The number of times I've passed out in races and had to crawl across finish lines is climbing onto my second hand. That does not mean I failed. I gave everything that I'd had on those days: my body just couldn't keep up with the effort my mind was trying to put out.
When we don't complete races (have to drop, etc) our coach puts "DNF" for Did Not Finish on the split summary sheet. He uses these sheets to calculate our workout times for the following week, track our progress, etcc.
To me, this DNF stands for something more than "Did Not Finish" because to many, that would imply that I failed at that task- but nope! I didn't! HAHA
DNF means "Did Not Fail"
On that day, if I really gave all I had an my body just gave out on me, then that's not a failure.
And from those experiences, I've learned something new every time, so that's not failing to learn.
No one can accuse me of failing to try
or
failing to work
or
failing to give everything I've got to every part of my life.
Because that's not how I roll.
like eminem said so poetically,
"Success is my only mothahsomethin option, failure's not"
I could come up with PAGES and PAGES of things I've tried to do and not succeeded in- but does that really mean I FAILED?
I mean, looking back at my geometry grades from sophomore year and a couple of 31%'s (I was kinda proud/mortified of how low of a score that was..new record!) you might say "Yes, you idiot, you failed that- see the grade?"
But what is failure?
I may have received an F grade- but I didn't fail in learning something from that bad mark.
So I don't consider that a failure.
Then again, talk to my eye doctor- I can't see the definition of leaves or facial features without my glasses on and he would tell you my eyes have failed to pass many eye exams.
But I didn't fail- my eyes did.
Do we really need eyes anyway? Hellen Keller certainly didn't.
And in fact, many would say that physical blindness (I'm not really blind.. just go with the train of thought) leads to greater sight- insight, that is, and heightened awareness of the world we're in.
So that's not a failure.
Dree 2, Failure 0.
Example 3: Student Council
I've run for exec board positions, class president, etcc and in the last 2 years, out of the 4 positions I ran for (on top of class rep): Junior Class prez, Student council treasurer, senior class prez, Student Body Prez- I didn't get a single one.
FAIL? not a chance.
Because although my efforts didn't grant me my desired result, each of those speed-bumps has taught me something or gone on later to show me a reason why it's a great thing- a success even- that I didn't win those elections. Yes, I come away from each lost election with a bit of a bruised ego and a few tears, but in hindsight I always am able to smile and appreciate God's hand in those losses. (Notice: I say losses, not failures)
Student Body prez, for example.
1.) I ran against the girl I'd beat for 1 exec board position sophomore year but lost to junior year for treasurer. She and I are friends, granted we're always competing with eachother, but still friends and honestly, she has shown a greater capacity for that kind of leadership. She just simply has more time to devote to the positions. I've been getting stressed and anxious about all these college applications, essays, school work, cross country season, family life, etc and if I'd had the added responsibilities of Student Body Prez I probably would have had a mental break down for REALZzZ about the 2nd day of school.
Made it almost 5 weeks now and no breakdown in sight! SUCCESS!
2.) She has a bit of a speech impediment- when she gets nervous, she stutters, and she gets nervous any time she's speaking to a large group, which means that over the announcements twice a day, she stutters. But it's been improving as our school year goes on. Her winning that election has enabled her to work toward conquering her obstacle- and I thank God each day that I didn't win so that she has the chance to do that.
THAT is not a failure at all.
Dree 3, Failure ZIP
Let's look at my cross country highschool record....
The number of times I've passed out in races and had to crawl across finish lines is climbing onto my second hand. That does not mean I failed. I gave everything that I'd had on those days: my body just couldn't keep up with the effort my mind was trying to put out.
When we don't complete races (have to drop, etc) our coach puts "DNF" for Did Not Finish on the split summary sheet. He uses these sheets to calculate our workout times for the following week, track our progress, etcc.
To me, this DNF stands for something more than "Did Not Finish" because to many, that would imply that I failed at that task- but nope! I didn't! HAHA
DNF means "Did Not Fail"
On that day, if I really gave all I had an my body just gave out on me, then that's not a failure.
And from those experiences, I've learned something new every time, so that's not failing to learn.
No one can accuse me of failing to try
or
failing to work
or
failing to give everything I've got to every part of my life.
Because that's not how I roll.
like eminem said so poetically,
"Success is my only mothahsomethin option, failure's not"
Thursday, September 12, 2013
On Health by Dr. Dree
It’s time to say bye to bikinis and
hello to birthday treats, snowballs, big cookie days and stress eating! But not
to fear; with all of the delicious treats to splurge on now that school is back
in session, one CAN still enjoy delectable pastries and bon- bons without putting
on that Fall 15! Here’s 10 tips how:
1. You can enjoy everything, but in moderation.
Don't be so focused on cutting out, instead,
think of cutting DOWN on amount and portions.
2. Go green-
as in eating!
Eat Spinach. And green beans. Or broccoli.
Or kale. OR ALL THE ABOVE. Because girls need iron and all those veggies are
high in iron and other antioxidants that have numerous health benefits. Don’t
like green veggies? Idea: spinach in a morning smoothie. Trust me, 3 handfuls
and you won't even taste it. THINK of the hidden health benefits!
3. The miracle drug: H2O
Our
bodies are 60% water, so drink up. The recommended daily consumption is about 3
liters (6 disposable plastic waterbottles, 3 nalgenes) a day if you're not in
the sun too much, 5-6 (or more) if heavily active. Drinking more water will
help increase your metabolism, make you feel fuller, keep you energized, and
help your brain function better. What’s not to love?
4. Get
sleep-
Honestly, really, sleep trumps studying.
Sleep trumps Grey’s anatomy. Sleep trumps everything. It's more important than
cramming for that testand will actually help you do better in school. Plus, the
more sleep you get, the better you’ll look (your metabolism works while you’re
sleeping and in those hours you’re not eating or drinking any calories!) and
feel. Take a nap, cut the procrastination, or just get to bed earlier- whatever
it takes to catch more of those Z’s. Your body will thank you.
5. Play
outside.
Really, PLAY. Laugh, swing on the swings, hit
the tennis ball or shoot some hoops with a sibling if ya have one or a borrow a
kid if ya don't. Pet rocks work fine too. Laughter is the best medicine for
stress.
6. Ditch
the Chips.
Satisfy your crunch craving with raw
veggies- carrots (eye-brighteners), sugar snap peas, celery, broccoli, bell
peppers…the list is endless. If you MUST eat chips, try baked versions or vegetable
chips (Barbara’s makes a delicious sweet potato & beet chip that is
wonderful with hummus or chicken salad.)
7. Be
a nut.
Snacks are important- they keep you from
overeating at mealtimes. Want the perfect snacks? Think nuts: almonds, walnuts,
peanuts, cashews, etc. Easy snack idea: 1 serving of dry-roasted edamame with
fresh blueberries. Trust the doc, it’s delicious.
8. Work
out.
Though it's kinda a given, working out and exercise still deserves a place on this list. Even just 10 minutes will release
endorphins and make YOU happier and better able to focus in school and on
homework (or [insert fave show]).
9. Take
5.
Take just 5 minutes a day and devote them
solely to prayer or meditation but instead of YOU doing the praying or talking,
clear everything out of your mind an just let God talk to you. Spiritual
nourishment is just as important (more, really) as physical!
10. Set
goals:
Want slimmer thighs, washboard abs, or Michelle
Obama arms? Or do you just crave that healthy glow? Set personal goals for
yourself in your eating, workout, and rest habits- daily, weekly, and monthly-
and dedicate yourself to keeping track of progress and then achieving them.
**Dr.
Dree is not really a doctor. These are just suggestions of healthy alternatives
gleaned from several nutritionist visits, Pinterest inspiration lists, and
life.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
D.E.S.I.R.E.
1 word
5 letters.
2 syllables
This cross country season, it's a word definitive of our team.
Definitive of our dream
to win.
to return
to our former strength
our former place at the top.
It's about time.
Desire.
It's a word that inspires the question "How bad do you want it?"
BUT
taken further, it inspires another question:
HOW HARD ARE YOU WILLING TO WORK FOR IT?
because all the desire in the world
all the fight
all the want
all the thirst
cannot be quenched without putting in the work.
100%
all the time
day in, day out
24/7
It's the diets
the core work
the completed workouts
the rest
the ice baths
the stretches
the mentality
all to back up one inkling of a feeling- that urge to win.
To prove that we are the best of the best.
And I can't wait to bring that back.
It's been a while, for me, since I've felt such a strong urging and will in my running
guess that's what 9 years of a sport does to you
but the fire is back
and stronger now, than ever.
How hard are YOU willing to work?
'Cause I promise you, I'll work harder.
5 letters.
2 syllables
This cross country season, it's a word definitive of our team.
Definitive of our dream
to win.
to return
to our former strength
our former place at the top.
It's about time.
Desire.
It's a word that inspires the question "How bad do you want it?"
BUT
taken further, it inspires another question:
HOW HARD ARE YOU WILLING TO WORK FOR IT?
because all the desire in the world
all the fight
all the want
all the thirst
cannot be quenched without putting in the work.
100%
all the time
day in, day out
24/7
It's the diets
the core work
the completed workouts
the rest
the ice baths
the stretches
the mentality
all to back up one inkling of a feeling- that urge to win.
To prove that we are the best of the best.
And I can't wait to bring that back.
It's been a while, for me, since I've felt such a strong urging and will in my running
guess that's what 9 years of a sport does to you
but the fire is back
and stronger now, than ever.
How hard are YOU willing to work?
'Cause I promise you, I'll work harder.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
bad habits
Do you ever venture around your house or shuffle through drawers
and come up with pieces of half-chewed gum or errant, opened, sticky mints?
and come up with pieces of half-chewed gum or errant, opened, sticky mints?
When washing dishes, do you come across a disgusting, hardened former bit of Stride stuck to a plate you're trying to rinse off?
Do you question your whole family,
angrily demanding who dared to inflict their disgusting behavior on you?!
angrily demanding who dared to inflict their disgusting behavior on you?!
And then, when you do, does no one 'fess up?????????
Well, here is your confession.
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, please don't hate me.
I am a gum deserter.
It has been 3 hours since my last desertion
and I'm already feeling remorseful because I have no idea where that little sucker is
and I'd like to just throw it away
or maybe finish chewing it...
Okay, I would like to finish chewing it.
The MINTY FRESHNESS IS NOT ALL USED UP YET!
in fact, I remember it being barely used at all.
I'm not even sure I got a full chew on that little stick I just recently lost..
OH THE AGONY.
Really, you haters would understand and wouldn't hate so much if ONLY you knew how tragic losing that piece of gum you'd become so attached to is.
Really.
It's nearly a 911 crisis, except that gum doesn't have a tracker and generally they wouldn't appreciate if you called them asking for help to find your ABC gum.
I have an even bigger confession.
On top of being a gum-deserter,
I'M ALSO A DENY-er
if you ask me if that was MY gum stuck to the bottom of the plate I had been eating off of
or if that which was left on the kitchen table after I'd eaten a snack there
was MINE?
I'd tell you no.
Ew. that would be SO gross.
Ggenerally i'll volunteer to throw it away later
but it was NOT EVER me who left that gum...
I'm really working on it.
I swear.
I would like to actually stop deserting my gum and begin enjoying it.
But first I need to find the piece I just lost.....
or maybe not and let someone else find it...
or maybe not and let someone else find it...
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
something new every day...
Today I learned something that I "already know"
aka I've already been taught it
already heard it
already thought about it
but never really ACKNOWLEDGED it (yes acknowledged is spelled like that..reminds me of fledgling...like birds. like a sparrow. They're so cute!) or LIVED it...
Ya know how sometimes you KNOW something to be true you just need an outside source to tell you it's true, too, so that you act upon it?
Well, lately for me, that elusive "something," that "it,"
is that Life is about Service
but more than that, it's about HUMBLE service.
Serving JUST BECAUSE.
DOING for others just for the act of the doing.
not for a reward
just because it's the nice thing to do
(and an added bonus of it making you feel like an awesome person/superhero (like the avengers).)
Really.
We are called to a life of service, and more specifically, to LEAD a life of service. As in being a leader.
This is all coming into my head because in my theology class (religion, faith, whatever you wanna call it), Leadership and Faith, we're reading a book/personal retreat on ministry and leadership entitled Help! I'm a Student Leader by Doug Fields.
Now lemme say, this book is not perfect.
It can get quite redundant, actually, and we're only 20 pages in.
But the redundancy is for repetition, because repetition makes memory and memory influences thought and thought influences actions...great cycle, dontcha think? Well, Mr. Fields had a point in all this redundancy, and now I can't get the concept of service out of my head.
Our assigned reading for the night involved leading as a servant.
The whole first chapter of the book, actually, concerns the fact that
to lead is first to serve,
with humility and grace (she's miss united states)
And an important aspect of that service is HUMILITY.
not doing it for the reward... my teacher said, "There's a difference between being recognized for work and working to be recognized"
and that makes SO MUCH SENSE.
It's crazy how sometimes your life and the events in it seem to have a motif or a theme for a period of days/weeks/years/etc
yes, I'm talking literary analysis-style themes and motifs #nerdprobs
Well, the theme du jour (well the sparknotes-style theme, since theirs are always 1 word and that's not REALLY what a theme is...) is
wait for it
keep waiting
can you guess it?
just try
dunh dunh dunh dunnnnnnhhhhh
SERVICE!
you're the winner of jeopardy
congratulations, captain obvious! you picked up on some subtle contextual evidence. yeah.
(sorry that was obnoxious...it entertained me when I typed it and I don't feel like removing it because it's late and I'm getting lazy..)
But I'm not kidding....
I've been hearing and thinking and reading and talking and watching about and listening toand swimming all about service lately.
I've been hearing and thinking and reading and talking and watching about and listening to
I've just become more aware of how many things I do or am involved with are serving acts or are done through service organizations, etccc and have been hearing lots about it from teachers in various classes, in homilies, random radio-host talks, etcc.
Example:
I'm part of a start-up organization for our local children's hospital and we just had a major fundraiser so that's gotten a lot of news coverage (AMAZING! We feel so blessed because of it!!!! I can't believe our baby is growing up:) But sometimes I get those little selfish desires and urges at our functions to be in the spotlight. I get a sense of the bad kind of pride that I helped start this organization. I mean, I am EXTREMELY proud of the fact that we pulled this off and were able to make an organization that does so much community good
but I feel like sometimes I get the urges to "use" that service for personal gain
ya know, pad my resume, make me look all good and serving.
And to be honest, this organization isn't the only area I've felt these selfish desires and such. I'm so ashamed. I know it's only human, but I like (and this comes from pride too) to think I'm above acting so selfishly.
But I'm gonna face the facts and admit that I'm not above that. Hell, I'm way below it. Classic book definition of selfish actions and the antonym for altruism=ME. Not all the time but sometimes.
All this college resume building and application-completing really doesn't do much to help with your ego.
If anything, it builds it a little too much and makes you hyper-aware of yourself.
All of these people want to know every single thing that makes you awesome, and I, understanding how competitive the college process has become, am happy to oblige them in providing every single little detail of accomplishment of mine.
But then I start looking at my accomplishments and extra curricular activities and service not as something to do because it's what I enjoy doing (I'm just an overachiever...I like always wanting to give 100%) but as something that 'looks good on a resume.'
AND THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
School, sports, service..
none of it is about making yourself look good or giving you that "extra edge" in the college search or job hunt.
If it is, then you're missing out on the important part of each of those.
It's like you're trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle of a painting blindfolded....
you might be able to feel the pieces into the right positions but you can't enjoy the fruits of the process because you were just going through the motions just to complete the task at hand.
School is about learning (saving that rant for another day..)
sports are about so much more than selfishness (again, gonna save it)
and service is about HUMILITY and helping others
easy as pie to look at and say
hard as balls to live out.
But that doesn't mean you can't try.
This afternoon, I came home from school to a messy kitchen.
From the surrounding quiet of the house, I deduced that my mom was already napping...
messy kitchen+napping mom=she's tired and could use a little break
So I cleaned the kitchen for her.
No big deal..but it meant something to her.
She doesn't KNOW that it was ME who cleaned the kitchen, but she knows that someone took care and cleaned up after her for once, and in that, she's affirmed just a little that she is not alone in the housework and that
she
is
loved.
Of course, Mom knows she is loved by us (speaking as the kids)
buuuuuut it's good to be reminded by something more tangible than an assumption based on genetic predisposition and hormonal ties (although I mean those are pretty tough to break...)
and what better way to show someone you love them than by humbling yourself to,
'wash their feet?'
To take their tasks into your own hands and then to go beyond that and do something that eases their life and shows them you care.
If I, in doing that small task for my mom, can help ease her day's burdens just a smidge, then I'm happy.
I'm not trying to do big things.
I'm just trying to do "small things with Great Love" as Mother Theresa would say.
Wake up in the mornin
**to the tune of Ke$ha's Tik-Tok**
Wake up in the mornin feelin like
it's time for yoga
pull the sheets off of my head
-they were wrapped like a toga!
'Fore I hit tree, stretch my knees
-I'm just tight like that
cause when I rise in the morn' I have a sore back
I've discovered the secret of morning happiness: stretching.
(and not talking to my sister until spoken to...)
(and even then only using a small whisper and smile so I don't get yelled at for "fussing")
But really.
STREEEEETCHING makes a world of a difference in how you wake up (or how I wake up)
I'm not saying that I roll out of bed and that I'm all perky and pliant and just hitting every stretch.
It takes me a good minute just to roll my head around enough so that I can stand trying to touch my toes.
And then when I get there, it's a real struggle not to just fall over from loss of balance and inability to stand on my own 2 feet.
But after a good 5-10 minutes of stretching (just holding 10 seconds-ish) per stretch I just wake up
Suddenly I have balance
I feel a vibrancy running through my veins
I feel good.
Awake.
Happy.
And I see rainbows and doves and smiley faces...
kidding.
but the stretching really does put me in a good mood and prepares me for the day with an energy and peace of mind and ability to deal with all my grumpy siblings and parents.
TRY IT. I DARE YOU.
And tell me that you don't feel better and more ready to take on the day's adventures...
I bet you can't prove me wrong.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Weekend's Adventures
This weekend was quite the adventure...but isn't that what Labor Day Weekend is all about??
Getting to live a few more days of summer in the middle of the beginning of school just to give ya a little reprieve before school starts to get REALLY demanding again (I swear if mine gets any tougher I'm going to collapse before our next break...)
WELL as far as breaks go, mine certainly was that.
Friday night was my break from responsibility...
(La teammates)
WEEEELLLLI wasn't supposed to run in a scrimmage race Friday afternoon
(hurt my achilles...)
but my coach decided he didn't want to listen to the trainer and asked me to run anyway
soooo just did a PART of it (had to get SOME kind of workout in).
it was so nice to run part of the race without the pressure of really competing.
Not that I dislike the competition, but sometimes it's nice to have a break from the norm, especially seeing that we won't be having any breaks from competition all season.... I also got to encourage my teammates all through the race and it was so rewarding to help them reach their goal times and push themselves.
As soon as I got home from that I jumped in the shower, ate a quick snack, and headed to the football game...
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!
Our team KILLED the competition and I liked being out there to support the guys and see everyone
...for about 30 minutes...
and then it just got hot and gross and stinky and sweaty
SOOO, naturally, my friends and I left
and went toWhole Foods for some grub...
CALIFORNIA. CLUB. ON. GLUTEN. FREE. BREAD= BEST DECISION EVER.
(hurt my achilles...)
but my coach decided he didn't want to listen to the trainer and asked me to run anyway
soooo just did a PART of it (had to get SOME kind of workout in).
it was so nice to run part of the race without the pressure of really competing.
Not that I dislike the competition, but sometimes it's nice to have a break from the norm, especially seeing that we won't be having any breaks from competition all season.... I also got to encourage my teammates all through the race and it was so rewarding to help them reach their goal times and push themselves.
As soon as I got home from that I jumped in the shower, ate a quick snack, and headed to the football game...
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!
Our team KILLED the competition and I liked being out there to support the guys and see everyone
...for about 30 minutes...
and then it just got hot and gross and stinky and sweaty
SOOO, naturally, my friends and I left
and went to
none of that actually happened. Well it might have.. depends on who you ask...
Saturday: BEST DAY OF THE WEEK. Break from boredom
Babysitting.
Time-3.5 Hours
Payment- $70
Cute Children- PRiceless
It was AWESOME.
The kids were adorable or sleeping over half the time..
And the other half we were at the pool.
#winningateconomics
HOW PRESH IS HE?!?!? Love this little guy...
After babysitting the real fun began:
some family friends and I had been planning a surprise p@rTay for 2 of our friends, Anna Kat and Davis, (whose birthdays are next weekend) that was scheduled to commence Saturday afternoon (and did...I just like the way the past tense sounds on that part...yes, I just did that.)
some family friends and I had been planning a surprise p@rTay for 2 of our friends, Anna Kat and Davis, (whose birthdays are next weekend) that was scheduled to commence Saturday afternoon (and did...I just like the way the past tense sounds on that part...yes, I just did that.)
MY part of the plan was to pick up Anna Kat's sis from their casa, pick up Anna Kat from work, and convince both of them it was time to go horse back riding at my cousin's house.
And they bought it, but (according to plan) when we got to my cousin's, we found out that the horses were at pasture and we couldn't ride them and (according to plan) Anna Kat's little sistah's gluc-o-meter just so happened to be all the way BACK at their house.
And they bought it, but (according to plan) when we got to my cousin's, we found out that the horses were at pasture and we couldn't ride them and (according to plan) Anna Kat's little sistah's gluc-o-meter just so happened to be all the way BACK at their house.
All the while, the guys were getting Davis to Anna Kat's house (location of la surprise) so we were just kinda stalling/covering up
And then we headed back to Anna Kat's to get the glucometer, went inside to talk to her sis for a second, adn then (according to plan) the boys showed up because they wanted to come visit for a sec. Magically Anna Kat and Davis both turned around at the same time and we took advantage and screamed SURPRISEEEEE as more of our friends started running from every direction, nook, and cranny in the house. It was great.
And then.................................. we had a paint war.
most of da crew (after)
And waterballoon fight
and jumped on the trampoline with soap, played frisbee, dribbled some soccer balls, chilled, ate, ate, ate, had a cookie cake (and cookie cake fight) and just had a great evening. It was spectacular. Plus once the boys left we girls finished off the cookie cake. SO WORTH IT.
Sunday- break from da boys
Was supposed to be Tunica Hills hiking day BUUUT due to some extenuating circumstances that didn't work out for anyone.
But I DID get to go to mass and hear a lovely gospel about humility.
And my brothers went fishing with my dad so we had a girls night. When I say girls night, it was more like girls' afternoon and evening.
We had a pool party at my cousin's with just my mom, sisters and I, then went to Whole Foods for some dinner (it's been a deliciously WHOLEsome weekend:)) and then came back home and baked gluten free chocolate cupcakes
(POSITIVELY SCRUMPTIOUS).
But I DID get to go to mass and hear a lovely gospel about humility.
And my brothers went fishing with my dad so we had a girls night. When I say girls night, it was more like girls' afternoon and evening.
We had a pool party at my cousin's with just my mom, sisters and I, then went to Whole Foods for some dinner (it's been a deliciously WHOLEsome weekend:)) and then came back home and baked gluten free chocolate cupcakes
(POSITIVELY SCRUMPTIOUS).
Jane was the master baker....
I just helped as needed:
I'll have to post the recipe because it was H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y.
Oh and Sunday I started working on making my homecoming dress. I don't actually have a date.... but that's not really as important as the dress, now is it?
Monday (today)- bReak from plans.
I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
Kidding. But it was all unplanned. Which is basically as relaxing as doing nothing.
Ran 5 miles (way too fast:)) around the Lakes
and then went home and made an egg white, turkey, spinach omelet and smoothies for the fam
(well just the girls since the boys were fishing)
and then went home and made an egg white, turkey, spinach omelet and smoothies for the fam
(well just the girls since the boys were fishing)
And then just chilled all day...
worked on HW, ACT prep, visited my grandma and had lunch with she and my cousin, did some more college application stuff and scholarship applications, and science fair.
Seriously, that stuff wears ya out! But it was a good day.....
and I'm now going to go do a little core and stretching
to close a great (non-labor intensive) Labor Day Weekend.
worked on HW, ACT prep, visited my grandma and had lunch with she and my cousin, did some more college application stuff and scholarship applications, and science fair.
Seriously, that stuff wears ya out! But it was a good day.....
and I'm now going to go do a little core and stretching
to close a great (non-labor intensive) Labor Day Weekend.
Ciao!
Ahh the genius of a tired mind..
I dunno about YOU people, but when I can't sleep I sometimes just start writing poetery...
This was last night...
This was last night...
My Sister- the Snorer.
Horror of horrors:
My sister's a snorer.
She snuffles
and growls
and makes all sorts of sounds.
Unnatural,
un-soundly,
and completely astounding
are the harumphs
and bronkle-humphs
that
into my ears are resounding.
I just want to sleep
but can't count to sheep-
or hear their little bleats-
as I lie between the sheets
because of her abominable,
insurmountable,
COMPLETELY UN-DROWN-OUT-ABLE
snoring.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
ideas
So essays for colleges and scholarships are supposed to be something unique about you that makes you stand apart from other people.
They're supposed to be like a written interview, something that gives the college an insight into who you are and why you would be an asset to them.
I'm gonna write the best college essay/interview anyone has ever read.
It's gonna be so great, it'll be like I'm sitting in front of them.
I'm gonna make them think that they've been missing me their whole life, that I'm the greatest thing to walk across their campus since it was built.
I just don't know quite how yet.
It's gonna come to me. That flash of brilliance! That literary genius will awake within my mind and I will be THE ENLIGHTENED COLLEGE ESSAY WRITING STUDENT.
If only this flash would hurry up...
I've got some deadlines (august 31!!) that I've gotta make........................................................
maybe I'll just work on my resume and other things first.
Or take a nap
Or pay attention in class (which is what I really should be doing but today for some reason I've just not been able to focus on ANYTHING the teachers have been saying. computers are a deadly technology.)
yeah I'm gonna figure out what's going on in class and worry about the essay later.
CHEERIO!
They're supposed to be like a written interview, something that gives the college an insight into who you are and why you would be an asset to them.
I'm gonna write the best college essay/interview anyone has ever read.
It's gonna be so great, it'll be like I'm sitting in front of them.
I'm gonna make them think that they've been missing me their whole life, that I'm the greatest thing to walk across their campus since it was built.
I just don't know quite how yet.
It's gonna come to me. That flash of brilliance! That literary genius will awake within my mind and I will be THE ENLIGHTENED COLLEGE ESSAY WRITING STUDENT.
If only this flash would hurry up...
I've got some deadlines (august 31!!) that I've gotta make........................................................
maybe I'll just work on my resume and other things first.
Or take a nap
Or pay attention in class (which is what I really should be doing but today for some reason I've just not been able to focus on ANYTHING the teachers have been saying. computers are a deadly technology.)
yeah I'm gonna figure out what's going on in class and worry about the essay later.
CHEERIO!
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