PROOF.

Well if this isn't proof enough that I'm actually crazy then I dunno what is.....I know there's been a lot of talk about venting and i must seem like a hypocritical, irrational person. I swear I'm not. at least not all the time.
I was gonna vent a few days ago and again today
but lately I've realized how blessed I am. 
It's a lot happier to think about than all the things I want o vent about (much less overwhelming, too)
I think we forget sometimes to just stop and smell the roses because we get too caught up in all the thorns. 
But if you think about it, the rose is much brighter and makes the thorn hurt a whole lot less because you can get caught up in the beauty and the good smell.
And what's so bad about that? I wouldn't be complaining (till I found all the scratches later:) even then, they wouldn't seem half so bad- actually they'd seem pretty damn hardcore and awesome.)

What's responsible for this massive mood-shift?
a choice.
I made a choice to let go of all my frustrations and venting and self-absorbedness when I feel it creeping into my mind
Because that, son, is from the devil
and I don't want him controlling any part of my mind.
it's crazy how powerful the mind is in controlling your emotions, actions, etcc
I know that's probably a bit of a redundant statement because the ole thinker does completely control every process
but by mind I mean mental attitude- mental predisposition- at the moment of your actions/thoughts/processes/etc
2 examples:
1. In my cross country meet Saturday, I completely mentally defeated myself. And it was so absolutely selfish of me because my team needs me- they need the confidence in me, to believe in me, to have that security that I won't drop out in our upcoming championship races and that I'll run to my full potential, which is as the number 2 runner on the team. But what did I do? I let my mind talk myself out of race zone and talk myself out of my pacing- I literally talked my body into shutting down. I KNOW I'm stronger than that- but I didn't run like it on saturday. All because I let my mind defeat my body- I let my doubts, my insecurities, my frustrations, my negativity- beat me down and win.
2. Yesterday in Pickleball. For starters, may I just say that I am not exactly the most gifted in hand-eye coordination. And in anything but running I admit I just get spastic. It's a problem- but funny (at least to people watching). But so anyway, yesterday I'd been playing poorly and being competitive, I was getting seriously frustrated and basically wanted to give up on myself. Instead, I thought for a half second maybe I should just focus on trying to play better instead of getting frustrated- and it worked! literally the dark cloud that was covering my mind with frustration and annoyance at the world just vanished and I started not only playing better (marginally) but I was a lot happier about it- and that carried over into my long run and into my evening with my family.


Basically, each day we have a choice. We can choose to drown in our sorrows and frustrations and despair or we can choose to rejoice in the good things going on or at least try to find them and remove ourselves from our ruts. Because we're mental beings and a little mind power goes a long way.