bad habits

Do you ever venture around your house or shuffle through drawers 
and come up with pieces of half-chewed gum or errant, opened, sticky mints?

When washing dishes, do you come across a disgusting, hardened former bit of Stride stuck to a plate you're trying to rinse off?

Do you question your whole family, 
angrily demanding who dared to inflict their disgusting behavior on you?!

And then, when you do, does no one 'fess up?????????

Well, here is your confession. 

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, please don't hate me. 

I am a gum deserter. 

It has been 3 hours since my last desertion

 and I'm already feeling remorseful because I have no idea where that little sucker is

and I'd like to just throw it away

or maybe finish chewing it... 

Okay, I would like to finish chewing it. 

The MINTY FRESHNESS IS NOT ALL USED UP YET!

in fact, I remember it being barely used at all. 

I'm not even sure I got a full chew on that little stick I just recently lost..

OH THE AGONY. 

Really, you haters would understand and wouldn't hate so much if ONLY you knew how tragic losing that piece of gum you'd become so attached to is. 

Really.

 It's nearly a 911 crisis, except that gum doesn't have a tracker and generally they wouldn't appreciate if you called them asking for help to find your ABC gum. 

I have an even bigger confession. 

On top of being a gum-deserter, 

I'M ALSO A DENY-er

if you ask me if that was MY gum stuck to the bottom of the plate I had been eating off of 

or if that which was left on the kitchen table after I'd eaten a snack there

was MINE?

I'd tell you no. 

Ew. that would be SO gross. 

Ggenerally i'll volunteer to throw it away later 

but it was NOT EVER me who left that gum... 

I'm really working on it. 

I swear. 

I would like to actually stop deserting my gum and begin enjoying it. 

But first I need to find the piece I just lost.....
or maybe not and let someone else find it...