ideas

So essays for colleges and scholarships are supposed to be something unique about you that makes you stand apart from other people.
They're supposed to be like a written interview, something that gives the college an insight into who you are and why you would be an asset to them.
I'm gonna write the best college essay/interview anyone has ever read.
It's gonna be so great, it'll be like I'm sitting in front of them.
I'm gonna make them think that they've been missing me their whole life, that I'm the greatest thing to walk across their campus since it was built.

I just don't know quite how yet.

It's gonna come to me. That flash of brilliance! That literary genius will awake within my mind and I will be THE ENLIGHTENED COLLEGE ESSAY WRITING STUDENT.

If only this flash would hurry up...
I've got some deadlines (august 31!!) that I've gotta make........................................................
maybe I'll just work on my resume and other things first.
Or take a nap
Or pay attention in class (which is what I really should be doing but today for some reason I've just not been able to focus on ANYTHING the teachers have been saying. computers are a deadly technology.)

yeah I'm gonna figure out what's going on in class and worry about the essay later.
CHEERIO!

Making lemonade

Okay I've been so negative and confused and frazzled and frustrated lately...
It's just seemed like as soon as I get over 1 thing, something else just comes and upsets me.
Maybe I've just become overly sensitive..
I started crying when I read a poem the other day. How pathetic.

But really, lately I've been oh so down in the dumps.
About everything.
I got injured in cross country.. again..
We were doing core with sprints in between and somehow I managed to strain my achilles.
I'm just SO DAMN TIRED OF BEING HURT ALL THE TIME.
And so I've been throwing myself a pity party.
That's not the only thing....there's a whole host of things going on that have been upsetting me.

I've gotta stop dwelling on them, though.
I'm no better off dwelling on my problems and moping around and crying my life away! WHAT A WASTE!!

For a class I had to research the life of St. Augustine, and in my research I read an article about overcoming obstacles and difficulties.
Thank you perspective!!
Sometimes we all just get stuck in the way our life doesn't seem to be working out the way we'd like.
Nothing is easy- it's the struggle that makes the reward so precious.
Without hard work we wouldn't appreciate the break.
Without challenges we wouldn't appreciate success.
Wanna know something profound? Everybody struggles.
In fact, a lot LOT LOT of people are dealing with nearly the exact same internal battles.
We just aren't honest enough with ourselves and others about it.
We can't go on pretending everything is perfect all the time because, frankly, it never is.
But that is perfectly okay:)
We have to acknowledge our struggles, think of what to do to overcome them, and then actually get off our asses and work on the "overcoming" part.
You may think you're not strong enough, smart enough, resourceful enough, wealthy enough, pretty enough.... but you ARE. You are worthy of the best, but the best doesn't come without a price. And that price is hard work, dedication, and a fighting spirit to overcome the many obstacles that will come your way.

All right world, let's play ball.


**Sorry for the many pep talks lately...I know it gets repetitive but I needed to write it out**

"Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you"
~St. Augustine

I Just Know

Some things about this college process are definite: I can see myself going down the path and the outcome.
I can see the major I'll select, the money I'll receive, where I'll live each of the years, who I'll live with, the sorority I'll rush, activities I'll pursue, experience I'll have, job I'll get, etcc. It's just all so there, so secure. So safe.

But then again, some things I just don't know.
There are so many things up in the air with other colleges I'm applying to.
What major do you select if you're the kinda person who thinks that almost all the majors sound pretty damn rockin?
Who will I know at the college? Live with? Do in my spare time?
What do I do to get money to go to these colleges?
How will my life be before and during this college experience?
How will I eat? Where will I work? Who's gonna help me!?!?!?!
So many questions, yet also, so many possibilities.
The future.
It holds endless possibility, infinite chances at self-discovery and success.
With so much potential, why would you just stick to what's safe?
So that's why I'm going out on a limb.
I'm creeping to the edge until I'm at the part that trembles with every minuscule shifting of weight, creeping further still until I'm hand over hand, monkey bar style, until I'm to the tip of the branch, the jumping point, and I've got 5 different pools to choose from, 5 different places to make a ripple and to let the ripple return to me. I'll be changed and they'll be changed. All I've gotta do is let go of the branch.
Which pool will I choose?

OH THE SUSPENSE.

Back to the Shenanigans

Shenanigans, that is, of college application and essay writing. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT!! I mean, lots of things have impacted me, I have (overwhelmingly, indecisively) varied interests, numerous hobbies (and siblings); basically, I'm awesome. Every college should want me. They do, they just don't know it yet. Kidding. 

But really, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF (sell yourself) WITHOUT SOUNDING STUPID, POMPOUS, AND NARCISSISTIC? If you know, that wasn't a rhetorical question and commentary is greatly appreciated. If you have none, not to worry, I'm arranging to consult a school counselor on the subject...

I mean, I consider myself a pretty well-rounded, high (attempting at least) achieving gal... Hopefully those colleges and scholarships will think the same! I just hate that I have to write about myself. Ew. 

Like what do I put? Hi, I'm the perfect candidate for your school because I'm just an all around oustanding, loyal, serving, enthusiastic, beautiful, fun, outgoing, smart, challenging, curious, intellectual who just so happens to have an amazing personality and incredible drive and will just make your university dynamic OH so much better if you'd just admit me. And give me some money to do it, please. Bless your sweet lil' admissions director heart. Amen. 

Yea, I think I'm going to put exactly that and see how many colleges I get into. 

Kidding, but this is actually so much harder than I'd imagined....

 I thought I was a creative essay writer but OBVIOUSLY the bajillion other applications that I'm trying to write things for will disagree unless my essay is just a spectacular specimen of literary and creative genius. Guess I'll write them a completely unrelated poem (score on the creativity points!) and tell them the answer to everything they want to know is hidden in the symbolism, imagery, metaphor and other literary devices within the poem and if they can't find them then they're obviously not smart enough to be working in admissions so they should just admit me anyway. 

What am I saying? I'm just spurting ridiculous nonsense! I love coffee. 3 cups today. YEAH. 

I wish you could do things with complete sarcasm in life and still succeed. 

**Correction, i wish I could do things with complete sarcasm and still succeed. There are many out there who do, but they call it irony and wit.**

Of all the shenanigans

and hoops that you have to jump through and forms you have to fill out in order to get into college, the hardest thing is probably telling the applications about yourself. 

I mean they all want you to write an essay about your dreams, what sets you apart, what makes you tick, why you want to go to college, how the majors you've chosen (for the moment) will affect your future and what made you interested in them in the first place (besides your parents). 

I'm sure this is same ole' same ole' what every college applicant has had to go through, but the process is DIZZYING! No wonder our counselors wanted us to have started these applications ASAP. So what did I do? Procrastinate. What do I need? More time. What am I out of? Nothing, yet, except dove dark chocolate and my minty gum (siblings...) but I'm about to be out of time. And luck. And energy. And hope for a future. Kidding, that was dark...I'm actually NOT THAT BAD off. But kinda. 

I mean, currently, at this moment I'm just working myself into a pickle. I really should be asleep....but I've just got a lot on my mind and a girls' gotta write sometimes! 

So GSE (get so eXc!t3d) for some L.O.V.E.L.Y. posts to come. That is, if I don't fall asleep... (well I guess if you're reading this you've found out already whether or not I fell asleep and actually this post is following the ones that you read if you started from recent to older...eh..whatever.) 

Trying

Trying now to start filling out scholarships and writing essays for application...
What are my passions? What sets me apart? What is my purpose for going to college? What do I want to do with my life? WHY ON EARTH ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE WANTING ME TO BE SO DECIDED ABOUT MY LIFE! HOW ON EARTH CAN I IMPRESS THEM!?
Looking at these scholarships, I just feel so average, so unimportant... what do I have to bring to these colleges, to say in these essays that will really set me apart?

This weekend, I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to write it out and give those scholarships and college essays a glimpse of who I am.
Now to figure out how.....