Back to the Shenanigans

Shenanigans, that is, of college application and essay writing. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT!! I mean, lots of things have impacted me, I have (overwhelmingly, indecisively) varied interests, numerous hobbies (and siblings); basically, I'm awesome. Every college should want me. They do, they just don't know it yet. Kidding. 

But really, HOW ON EARTH DO YOU WRITE ABOUT YOURSELF (sell yourself) WITHOUT SOUNDING STUPID, POMPOUS, AND NARCISSISTIC? If you know, that wasn't a rhetorical question and commentary is greatly appreciated. If you have none, not to worry, I'm arranging to consult a school counselor on the subject...

I mean, I consider myself a pretty well-rounded, high (attempting at least) achieving gal... Hopefully those colleges and scholarships will think the same! I just hate that I have to write about myself. Ew. 

Like what do I put? Hi, I'm the perfect candidate for your school because I'm just an all around oustanding, loyal, serving, enthusiastic, beautiful, fun, outgoing, smart, challenging, curious, intellectual who just so happens to have an amazing personality and incredible drive and will just make your university dynamic OH so much better if you'd just admit me. And give me some money to do it, please. Bless your sweet lil' admissions director heart. Amen. 

Yea, I think I'm going to put exactly that and see how many colleges I get into. 

Kidding, but this is actually so much harder than I'd imagined....

 I thought I was a creative essay writer but OBVIOUSLY the bajillion other applications that I'm trying to write things for will disagree unless my essay is just a spectacular specimen of literary and creative genius. Guess I'll write them a completely unrelated poem (score on the creativity points!) and tell them the answer to everything they want to know is hidden in the symbolism, imagery, metaphor and other literary devices within the poem and if they can't find them then they're obviously not smart enough to be working in admissions so they should just admit me anyway. 

What am I saying? I'm just spurting ridiculous nonsense! I love coffee. 3 cups today. YEAH. 

I wish you could do things with complete sarcasm in life and still succeed. 

**Correction, i wish I could do things with complete sarcasm and still succeed. There are many out there who do, but they call it irony and wit.**