Friday, May 31, 2013

5.20


CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM CHEM
(to the tune of the zoom-zoom thing on pitch perfect)
That’s all I’ve been doing today (Even skipped school to do it…) and so I’m gonna dedicate the rest of my night to it too. Goodnight. 

I had to write a paper (written 5.19)


on risk-taking to achieve your dreams. It was for my English final exam written portion, in the form of a synthesis essay (analyzing documents, etcc to prove a point; gross). But ever since that paper, I’ve been noticing that dream-following has become a motif in my recent (as in this week) life. Not necessarily my following the dreams, but the concept of dream following. It’s been a strange coinkydink…. a lot of conversations have taken that “what is your dream?” pathway (not a dramatic sense but ya know, conversational) and I’ve come across multiple articles while randomly skimming through the newspaper and magazines at home during my procrastination that have to do with taking the risk to follow dreams and the more recent letters I’ve gotten from colleges have been from colleges that I’d like to but didn’t think I could rEaLiStICaLly go. It’s been weird, lemme tell ya. 
But this coincidence got me thinking….deeply… “Do I follow my dreams? Oh good question.. but what are my dreams? What do I want?” and after much pensive thought, I still have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. And that’s perfectly ok.
I made lists though, of things I KINDA have dreams about. But I can’t pinpoint exactly 1 thing because each has pros and cons. And these lists aren’t really organized because I’m not your typical list-maker… basically this is just a compilation of my thoughts as the come across my mind. Enjoy.
College
Part of me really wants to go out of state…
The other part doesn’t because of my family..
But ya know what?! That hasn’t stopped me from DREAMING about colleges…
·         Harvard University…. HAH. I don’t even know if I could get in. But it would be SO cool to just say “I got in”
·         Or Brown… like Serena (XOXO)
·         UNC, Chapel Hill… Definitely applying there. North Carolina is my heaven on earth and I would love nothing more than to go there. I’ve got some family friends who do and it just looks and sounds like the most amazing college experience. Think about it… challenging academics, good social, outdoors activities… mountain biking, rock climbing, bouldering, paddling, hiking, trail running…the options are ENDLESS. At first I had my heart set on an Ivy League, I don’t know why. Those are insanely expensive and I’ve heard the people can be snobby (maybe some but I’m sure I could find a niche) but it was just a fun dream. Now, however, UNC has my heart.
·         Clemson…. Another one of my LOVES. I’m definitely applying there also. Everyone I know at Clemson happens to be some of my favorite people in the world and biggest role models and I just think it’s a school that attracts wonderful, smart, joyful people. And that’s who I want to be surrounded by. Oh, annnd it’s in the mountains too… And has fun football…
·         UGA.. SEC school -CHECK. Good football team -CHECK. Fun Greek life -CHECK. Near mountains -CHECK. Strong academics -CHECK. Fun people I like -CHECK. (noticing a trend here? Is it just me or has ‘check’ stopped looking like a word for any of yall? Oh wait this is my blog, so there’s no yall, it’s just me, silly goose.)
o   Main problem with all of the schools I’ve listed is MONEY. I’m pretty sure I could get in to at least the latter 3 because my grades have been good, mostly… (Ivy’s probably wouldn’t like the C and B in the math section on my transcript…dang geometry… I’m good at it now, just then it was SO hard…). I’m about to take the ACT again (been actually preparing for it this time) so hopefully I can get a few points higher than last time (aiming for a 34-35)  but really, money is an issue. I’m just going to apply for plenty of scholarships etcc for wherever I go just to see if I can get to any of these places because, well, with 8 kids my parents aren’t going to be able to send me away without some serious financial stress and I’m not going to do that to them… But dreams are about risks, and I won’t know unless I try, SO I’m going to try.
·         LSU… GEAUX TIGERS!!!! I dreamed about going there from when I was younger, but now, I just don’t know. A lot of my friends are planning to go there and probably will, and I’d love to be with them, but part of me also wants the freedom of separation to enable myself to grow more fully. Maybe that’s just ridiculous but c’est la vie. LSU DOES have one of the top (if not the best) landscape architecture schools in the country and they offer lots of opportunities to study abroad, both of which are major factors in my college choices (I have no idea what major I’d like but landscape architecture seems like a good fit for me).
·         Texas A&M
·         Baylor University- I’ve got some friends who will KILL me if I don’t apply there… so keeping that one on the list. And they’ve got a nice rock gym and a decent fashion program, which are both big pluses for MOI!
Other dreams… because college isn’t the only thing to dream about
·         Mission work.
o   I don’t know if I want to take a year off between highschool and college or wait until after college, but I want to dedicate at least half if not more than a year to mission work. Don’t know which organization, don’t know where. It can be here, Haiti, Thailand, or India; anywhere where there is a need I want to fill it.
·         World hunger
o   I want to end it. Not single handedly, but I want to do my best to fix world hunger. I don’t know how. But I think there’s definitely something to be found in sustainability researching (hello biology/landscape architecture/environmental engineering) and I’d like to work to find it. It’s an issue that stems from poverty which stems from lack of education. Basically, can I just fix all of the world’s problems? That’s why part of me wants to be a teacher, but the problem with that is teacher salaries are so low that I don’t know how helpful I’d be able to be. But then again, if you don’t start somewhere nothing ever gets done, so maybe starting small is the way to go. I’m gonna pray on it. 
·         Health
o   I believe in health. Not for being skinny, just for being ‘right.’ For people to feel well, live their lives to their fullest potentials, be happier and able to contribute more fully to our world. No, I don’t want to be a doctor, but maybe a nutritionist or dietician. I have this dream to open up a place that combines my passions into one business… It’s a health food/local food shop and restaurant+yoga/yogalates/cross-fit studio+physical therapy/alternative medicine center, completely energy efficient, with a roof top garden. SOUNDS like a giant clinic, and maybe it would be, eventually, but I’d like to start it out as something small. I’d want it to be a place where people of all backgrounds could come together to work on their fitness and wellbeing with a sense of community. It would have both indoor and outdoor sessions, offer classes in cooking and nutrition as well as yoga, crossfit and other exercise programs, offer physical therapy and alternative medicine (acupuncture, etcc) and just promote healthy lifestyle. Then, I’d want to take annual or semi-annual trips with the staff to either areas around the country or other countries as mission trips to promote and enable better, more healthy qualities of life for lots of other people. It’s a big dream, I know, but it just is everything I want in a career… people, health, helping, activity, outdoors, challenge, creativity…  
·         Family
o   I want a big, happy family. I don’t need us to be rich, or live in a certain part of town. I just want us to be happy and loving and have fun with eachother. And I want my husband and I to love eachother in the same way I’ve seen my own parents…
·         Careers… there’s too many (not just that super-health studio thing)
o   Fashion design… I have drawn pages and pages of dresses and pieces…. Just can’t give up on that yet…
o   Other stuff but there’s no time.. more later.

Live in such a way that you don’t need wishes because you’ve made them come true already. I’ve got big dreams and I plan on making them come true. 

Bonne Verre


I discovered a beautiful new way to drink water. It’s been around since the cave men first captured water to drink or maybe just since the first hillbillies canned their pickled crow gizzards. But, for me, I’m a new convert to this way of drinking, and I must say, I’m never going back.  
 3 Syllables. 2 words. 1 beautiful invention. Ladies and Gentleman: the Mason Jar.
It all started when there were no more glasses from which I could drink as they were all dirty or dirtier (7 siblings, 10 person household, it happens) and there was one lone jar sitting in a cabinet. And I thought to myself, YOLO. And from the moment I had raised that jar to my lips, my life was forever changed.
There is just something about the way water washes downward from that gorgeous glass and fills ones’ [insert scientific term for mouth, in Latin, to sound be cool] with tiny trickles of tasty sustenance. Tap water is good. But tap water from a mason jar?! You could serve THAT to the Queen!
I mean, really. Water from a mason jar just tastes better. End of Story. Contest it all you want, you Voss drinkers, Brita filter fans, Fiji fanatics or Smart Water suckers. Good ole’ mason jars do the trick. And they do it better than any other.  
“I’m not usually a water-drinker. But when I do, I drink from a mason jar.” –The Most Interesting Man in the World
Take it from Mr. Fascinating, he never lies.
**the above information was 100% factual, objective information gleaned from a very objective, well-informed source. If you would like to cite it in a research paper, however, I don’t highly advise it**

Catch up


Me to Myself: (yes I’m talking to myself, don’t worry ‘bout it) Get with it, self. What is your problem?! You make this resolution to write in a blog everyday for a year and then you skip OVER week. Do you have something else going on?! Are you having an affair with your textbooks?!
Well, I would like to apologize. Pardonez-moi. Je regrette, je n’ai pas le temps pour blogging. J’ai etudie beaucoup pour mes examens ca derrier semain. My school-work has so consumed my personal life that I’ve done very little outside of printing off new study guides for various subjects and reflecting upon whatever I had studied lately. What a prioritization issue!  BLOG BEFORE ALL-G. (internal rhyme just makes life better). I will have you know, although you already do, Self, that my life has not been completely devoid of naught but studying. Other things have happened in the last week or so.
The following posts are a few highlights. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

thankfulness

It started out as a day like any other..except for the cardiology appointment I had in the morning. So much was riding on the results of this appointment that I could feel myself, usually the epitome of calm cool and collected (that's a lie..most people would say I'm probably one of the most energetic and obnoxious people ever at times. eh. touche.)  And then I went to the wrong hospital. Like completely wrong side of town.

**In my defense my doctor had scheduled my appointment and I'd just said yessir and walked out of THAT appointment in a half state of shock. I'm a runner. WE don't need cardiologists. Cardiologists need us...when we die (because our hearts are stronger.sup.) sooooo I was, safe to say, a little scared and not paying attention to WHERE the cardiologist was; I just knew I was going there...**

Well eventually I DID find the cardiologist and went in to see whether my life would be forever changed. (oooh the melodrama)

and it wasn't. because there's NOTHING wrong with me. how anti-climatic.

THANK GOD!!!!!

THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK GOD!!!!!!!THANK you, God. 

and I mean that in prayer. 100% serious. Thank you, Father in heaven. 

In fact I'm at such a level of nothing-wrong-ness that the doctor said I'm one of the healthiest patients he's had...and I'm actually way above the 90th percentile (if that's possible) for healthiness. Basically I am health. okay not really because I pass out when I run races so that mean's there's SOMETHING wrong with me...just not my heart. and I'm perfectly comfortable with that knowledge.

Some days Life gives you lemons and you have to make lemonade. Others you can't even gather the energy to make the lemonade.Or sprinkle the lemon with sugar. Or even do anything except cry because the lemon is too sour. Others you expect lemons or thorns from good ole Life and he hands you a piece of chocolate cake ...with ice cream and a cherry on top.


Today, thankfully, was the latter day.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

SO

SoI've thought, prayed, thought some more, prayed more, given up, forgotten, and then remembered again this goal of mine: to track my personal progress and decisions  over a year. To have something, some way to leave a footprint or reminder of what this year was like that doesn't involve scandal or anyone knowing about this except myself and maybe a friend or two if I share it.

I've decided to embark upon a journey of unknown twists and turns and likely (hopefully..) personal growth. I will blog for 365 days. REALLY. This is completely legit. The days I cannot access internet (as there will be some, especially this summer while I'm in the carolinas..I mean heaven) I'll journal and up date later....bottom line is I'm going to be doing a lot of writing.

This is for me, personally, to track who I am now and what I become in a year, hopefully to laugh at myself, reminisce on this year, and continue a journey into being me.

 If you happen to be reading this and don't know me and came across this by accident, I apologize if I'm weird or strange or insult or offend you. Actually I don't apologize if I'm weird or strange because everyone is and you should appreciate my..."uniqueness." I hope you laugh. I hope this brings you joy (it's a greater gift than happiness.. happiness is fleeting, joy remains) and that if you are a random reader know you're welcome to look and pass me by and forget. But you're also more than welcome to stay. Have a cup of tea and a crumpet and welcome to my life.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Oh Longfellow, you wrote well, fellow

A Psalm of Life

 by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tell me not in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.


Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou are, to dust thou returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul
.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today
.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!


Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act, - act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solenm main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.